Original Title – Switch – (Chapter Two – French Kiss)

Music – Rod Stewart – Do you think I’m sexy?

And then Dear Editor,

It happened one day while I was walking near a castle.

I wondered.

What languages do E.T.’s speak?

If they speak English, then it will be

English As A Second Language.

I think there are other languages which are more beautiful and more romantic.


I have not practiced French since high school.

I remember however that the French word for fashion model is mannequin.


Hello. I love you baby. You know you are so wonderful.

You are the spirit of my life.

Yes, I think I will die without you. You know.

Stay with me. Stay with me. I love you so much.

                                                  (Streeters – unidentified person)

‘Pick up’ lines are great in wine bars.

What if Aliens do not understand the game of love?

Maybe the truth is a lie undiscovered.


But I wanna say one thing to the American people.

I want you to listen to me.

I’m gonna say this again.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

These allegations are false.

And I need to go back to work for the American people.

Thank you.

                                                  (U.S. President Bill Clinton)

Then there are other “discoveries.”


Saddam Hussein has gone to elaborate lengths, spending enormous sums taking great risks to build weapons of mass destruction.

Weapons of mass destruction.

Weapons of mass destruction.

                                                     (U.S. President George W Bush)

Sex scandals, however, lead the news.


Journalists, the BBC. These are people that “chat.” We all “chat.” We all “gossip.”


“Gossip” they love. And what everyone else is doing, they’re desperate to know.

                                                                                   (Streeters – Unidentified People)

Royal gossip is as delicate as a ballerina.


Well there were three of us in this marriage. So it was a bit crowded.

                                 (Princess Lady Diana)

Oh, my God!

                                (Monica Bellucci)

Oh, Almight God! No! 

                                 (Roberto Benigni)

Oh, my God!

What a great quote that was.

There were three of us in that marriage.

                                 (Streeter – Unidentified person)

Friends on my husband’s side were indicating that I was, again, unstable, sick and should be put in a home of some sort in order to get better.

I was always an embarassment.

                                      (Princess Lady Diana)

How did the Princess know her husband was cheating?

A woman’s instinct, is a very good one.

I take some responsibility that our marriage went the way it did. I’ll take half of it. But I won’t take anymore than that!

And it was just really really sad. Really sad.

A Fairy Tale had come to an end.

                                            (Princess Lady Diana)

(Music by Journey – Don’t Stop Believing)

Just a small town girl.

Living in a lonely world.

She took the midnight train going anywhere. 


What is it that God never sees, a Royal person sometimes sees, but common people see everyday?

a) Justice

b) Poverty

c) Loneliness

d) An Equal

(answer below picture)

Answer: An equal.

Read Book One for the Full Story. Click – Book

Written by

Vincent Towerpast

English Language Consultant for Business English courses and Journalist - Foreign Correspòndent